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I found when I did move, it hurt. So I moved even less. I was on my way to becoming Jabba the Hut’s sister -- if it hadn’t been for the health incident. When the doctor discovered my blood pressure was 245/145 it made me realize that my lifestyle had led to a quick decline in my health, putting me at risk for stroke or a heart incident of some type. Basically my choices were to stay on the same path and risk death or go on meds for the rest of my life or change my whole lifestyle to improve my health.
Cold hard look in the mirror.
Funny thing was until that point I was in denial. Previously when I looked in the mirror I looked in a way that didn’t distress me. I wore clothes that hid the worst of my bulges. And never never did I get in the way of a camera that might capture how I really looked. That kind of shock would be too much for the ole denial system.
So when the doctor apologetically told me I was in the range of ‘obese’ it hit me hard. How did I get obese? How come I didn’t notice?
This obese-denial phenomenon is not unusual. My roommate back in university told me a story about a 300-lb woman she knew who had knee problems. The woman wanted surgery but the doctor said she had to lose weight first to see if that improved her knees. So the woman went to weight-loss sessions with a personal trainer even though she in no way believed she was overweight.
The only way around this head-in-the-sand perspective I can see is the fact that no matter if you are overweight or normal weight exercising is undeniably a good thing to do. There are no excuses. No way denial can keep you from being active.
Okay, now in a funny reversal of thinking that can also keep you from being active is the embarrassment of being fat. I remember when I first began walking down the rural highway where I lived after realizing my condition. I’d go when there was the least amount of traffic and would practically jump in the ditch if a vehicle came near. I was so afraid someone would point their finger at me and laugh at the ‘fattie.’
I was never so demoralized in my life. Stripped of my denial mechanism, knowing only I’d made myself so obese it was harming me and that I was so deconditioned that walking a mile caused me to retch, I hit bottom.
But I was determined to change. I did this to me. If I didn’t get me out of this, no one else would be able to. So I kept walking and walking and walking. Seven days a week I walked. I walked until my clothes got so loose and baggy I had to buy more. Until my feet got sore and I had to invest in good runners. Until I’d lost 65-lbs and I waved happily to people passing by as they waved to me.
I was lucky. My change of lifestyle brought my blood pressure back to the 120/80 range.
In the end? All my life I’d had the assumption the body was this lump of flesh that never changed. I came out of that transformational time in my life realizing that what I did to my body affected it. If I over-ate and did not exercise, I got fat. If I watched my nutrition and was active, the weight came off. If I overtrained, I got injured.
The body is dynamic. Day by day the changes are so small we tend to forget how much impact our daily routines have on our bodies over time. It’s like hair. You don’t notice your hair growing; however, if you don’t cut it for a year, you sure notice the difference when checking back to its length the year before.
Denial, embarrassment, disbelief in the body’s ability to change. Don’t let them hold you back. You only have the one body. If you don’t care for and cherish it, no one else can do it for you.
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Photo Credit: Bruno Sersocima
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